Negotiating a Divorce: 5 Tips

Contested divorces cause intense stress, so many couples focus on trying to negotiate a divorce settlement agreement. Unfortunately, negotiating with a spouse when the marriage has broken down is harder than many anticipate. Unless the divorce is amicable, one or both spouses could “dig in” and try to make the divorce as painful as possible for the other spouse by refusing to compromise.

At Hamilton O’Neill, our experienced legal team has negotiated divorce for many clients. Below, we provide some of the most useful tips.

Hire the Right Law Firm

Not every Miami divorce firm is ready to handle a high-end divorce. You want an experienced legal team which can find the right valuation experts and forensic accountants to help with your case. The right legal team should also prioritize your privacy, using non-disclosure agreements where appropriate to ensure that information doesn’t leak out to the media. Call Hamilton O’Neill to learn more in a consultation.

Think About What You Want

It is impossible to negotiate if you don’t know what you want. You will be indecisive, which means you might never reach agreement, frustrating your spouse in the process. Effective negotiation requires having a plan. Often, we meet with clients to discuss what they hope to get out of the divorce:

• If you have young children, do you want them to live with you for the school year? Or are you happy having extended time during summer vacation?
• Do you want the primary residence? Or do you want to sell the family home and move somewhere else?
• Are there jewelry or heirlooms which you must have?
• Do you want the pets? Under Florida law, pets are personal property, like your living room sofa. Judges won’t give “visitation” to one spouse so they can continue to see the dog.
• Do you want to avoid paying alimony because the payer is responsible for taxes on the amount?

Avoid Bad Mouthing Your Spouse

Fights delay a divorce. You should absolutely avoid saying anything negative about your spouse. Don’t publish social media posts which contain negative information—or any information, really. It is perfectly normal to completely stop mentioning a spouse in your Instagram posts.

You should also avoid gossip in-person or over the phone, though that is harder. Really find one or two people you can absolutely trust and decompress with them. Otherwise, you should only remain neutral when it comes to your spouse.

Start Early

Negotiation for high-asset couples takes time. You should not expect to wrap everything up in a month or two. Expect months of negotiation, and much longer if you have young children.

Some people are eager to get remarried and express disappointment at why divorce is taking so long. You can help yourself by meeting with a lawyer as soon as you realize your marriage is over.

Be Open to Compromise and Trade-Offs

You cannot negotiate a divorce if you have a “my way or the highway” approach. Instead, men and women who are the most flexible will be able to successfully reach agreement.

Compromise often requires tradeoffs. For example, both parents might insist on being the primary custodian. One compromise is to split the time equally and live close together so the children can attend school.

Contact Hamilton O’Neill Today

Our Miami divorce lawyer can share other tips of the trade in a private consultation at our office. Contact us to schedule a meeting.