Mistakes to Avoid when Telling Your Children You Are Divorcing
One reason couples hesitate to divorce is the fear of how it will impact their children. But children can be negatively impacted when parents stay married, especially if they are constantly fighting or if there is domestic violence. When informing your children that you intend to divorce, it is critical to avoid certain mistakes.
7 Mistakes to Avoid
We recommend that you avoid the following missteps, which can increase stress and cause anger.
- Do Not Jump the Gun
Are you only thinking about divorce? There is no reason to tell your children you are divorcing until you are 100% sure. That might mean undergoing counseling first, or, at least, meeting with a lawyer to discuss if divorce is right for you.
- Don’t Squeeze Your Children in Between Business Meetings
You might be a high-powered executive who works all weekend. You still should clear out your schedule. You have no idea how your children will respond, and you don’t want to abandon them for a conference call.
- Do Not Tell Your Children in Public
Some parents try to meet children in public because they are afraid of how the children will act. Their assumption is that their children will be too embarrassed to show emotion in public. This is a definite mistake.
- Avoid Assigning Blame
You might not have chosen to get divorced. However, it is critical not to blame your spouse during this time. Telling your children who is responsible actually could come back to haunt you in the divorce proceedings if the judge thinks you are trying to turn the children against your spouse.
- Avoid Lengthy Explanations
Some children might ask “Why?” but you are not obligated to tell your children the honest truth. Instead, you should keep your explanations generic and age appropriate for the child.
- Don’t Assume Older Children Are Fine
One mistake is assuming that only young children will be upset to find out their parents are divorcing. In reality, many older children take it the hardest of all. After all, they might have entered their own marriages, and your marriage could serve as a model for their own. Now that you are divorcing, they could end up questioning the validity of their own marriage or be plagued with doubts. Approach adult children with the same sensitivity.
- Avoid Unrealistic Promises
You might want to tell your children, “Don’t worry. Nothing will change.” But that might not be the case. You could end up needing to move with the children, which can result in feelings of betrayal later. Set realistic expectations.
Contact a Law Firm Today
Hamiton O’Neill has represented clients in many high-profile divorces. We realize that preparing for divorce is often an arduous process. Call our office as soon as possible. In a private consultation, we can discuss possible divorce, as well as how a judge will analyze your case. We can help you think through child custody, property division, and other issues. This consultation gives our clients confidence to go ahead and file for divorce. Call to schedule a consultation with an experienced Miami divorce lawyer.
Source:
psychologytoday.com/us/blog/home-will-never-be-the-same-again/202406/late-life-parental-divorce-can-overwhelm-adult?msockid=042a1b69394b6d9133ec0d3638086c7a